Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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