I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
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Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
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Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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