She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
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