Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She said her name was "party"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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