All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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