I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize