It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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