There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize