Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I currently don't understand fingers.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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