I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you had me at cake vodka
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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