You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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