I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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