she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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