I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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