rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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