...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize