I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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