I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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