NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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