Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
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I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
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I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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