"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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