Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
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I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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