she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize