I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
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I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm really busy with my period
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