Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize