Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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