You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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