I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize