Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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