ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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