Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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