8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize