Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize