be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
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Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
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I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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