can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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