It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
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His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
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Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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