I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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