I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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