So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my being single is dangerous.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize