i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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