threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize