Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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