I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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