____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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