Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
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guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
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Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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