Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize