So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
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How's work?
Spinning.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
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All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize