Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
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Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
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I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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