He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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