you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize